DISCLAIMER: All the characters are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and Fox. They own them all and I own nothing. I am just borrowing them for our mutual entertainment. Some of the dialogue is also borrowed from the actual episode and is not my creation. I give full credit to Joss and company but I want to put my own twist to things. I am sorry if it gets boring with scenes you already know but I want to stay as consistent as I can. This story is rated NC-17 eventually.


Angel wakes in a panic. The dream of Daniel still vivid in his mind. He throws on his clothes and heads out into the night air

Main street

In the window of an audio/video store a TV is tuned to the weather.

Weatherman: It's going to be sunny and warm with temperatures continuing in the high 70s throughout the holiday weekend. Just a little warm to light the Yule log, but it should make for a very nice Christmas.

Angel walks past the shop window at a brisk pace and crosses the street. Somewhere on the block is a group of carolers singing "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". Angel passes a Santa Claus ringing a bell and collecting for the Salvation Army. A passerby drops some coins into his pot.

Santa: Merry Christmas!

Angel stops when he almost runs into Buffy. They are both surprised, and don't say anything for a moment.

Angel: Hi.

Buffy: Angel...

Awkward Silence.

Buffy: So, are you shopping? You're probably not shopping.

Angel: I couldn't sleep.

Buffy: Vampires probably not that big on Christmas, now that I think about it.

Angel: Not as a rule.

Buffy: But you're good?

Angel: I'm, I'm alright. You?

Buffy: Yeah! Yeah, I'm good. I, um, I was just getting some Christmas gifts for the gang.

Angel looks behind Buffy. In the middle of the street he sees Daniel looking at him.

Buffy: Um, I'd better go before the magic store closes.

Angel and Daniel exchange a long look, then Daniel walks away. Buffy notices Angel's distraction.

Buffy: Angel?

She looks behind herself and sees nothing, then turns her concerned attention back to Angel.

Buffy: What is it?

Angel is frozen with fear.


The nightmares continue to plague the souled vampire until he reaches out for help from the one man he hopes can help him find the answers.

Giles apartment

He's cooking dinner when there's a knock at his door.

Giles: Just a minute!

He goes to the door, opens it and is surprised to see Angel standing there. For a long moment neither of them says anything.

Giles: Hello.

Angel: Um... I'm sorry to bother you.

Giles laughs.

Giles: Sorry. Coming from you that phrase strikes me as rather funny. Sorry to bother me.

Angel: I need your help.

Giles: And the funny keeps on coming.

Angel: I understand I have no right to ask for it, but there's no one else.

Giles: Alright.

He walks back into the apartment and heads down the hall.

Angel: I... I can't come in unless you invite me.

Giles returns from the hall, holding a crossbow and raises it at the ready.

Giles: I'm aware of that.

He walks back to the door.

Giles: Come in.

Slowly Angel steps into the apartment. Giles' aim does not waver.

Angel: I've been seeing... I've... I've had dreams lately about the past. It's... It's like I'm living it again. It's, it's so vivid, I... I need to know. I need to know why I'm here.

Giles: Here? Back on Earth?

Angel: I should be in a demon dimension suffering an eternity of torture.

Giles: I don't feel particularly inclined to argue with that.

Angel: But I'm not. I was freed, and I don't understand why.

Giles: Knowing why you were back would give you peace of mind?

Angel: It might.

Giles lowers crossbow. Behind him Angel sees Jenny Calendar.

Giles: You think that's something you ought to have?

Jenny looks at Angel sadly. Angel begins to shiver with fear.

Giles: Because, sir, to be blunt, the last time you became complacent about your existence turned out rather badly.

Angel watches Jenny caress Giles shoulder and sigh. Giles doesn't notice a thing. Angel begins to panic. Giles notices the look of fear on his face focused behind him.

Giles: What?

He looks around his apartment, completely unaware of Jenny's presence.

Angel: Don't you see her?

He sees Jenny walk around Giles.

Giles: Who?

Angel begins to make his way to the door. Jenny follows him with her stare. He begins to freak out.

Angel: I can't!

He runs out of the door into the night. Giles is left standing there very confused. His thoughts go to the night he was tied to a chair and tortured by Angelus.

Angel and Buffy both awaken and looks around. The dream of the murder of the maid still fresh in their minds.


Angel's mansion.

Angel paces his living room.

Jenny: Trouble sleeping?

Angel: You're not here.

Jenny: I'm always here.

Angel: Leave me alone.

He sits down on the cold marble on one side of the great fireplace.

Jenny: I can't. You won't let me.

Angel: What do you want?

Jenny: I wanna die in bed surrounded by fat grandchildren, but guess that's off the menu.

Angel: I'm sorry.

Jenny: You're sorry? For me? Don't bother. I'm dead. I'm over it. If you wanna feel sorry for someone, you should feel sorry for yourself. Oh, but I guess you've already got that covered.

Angel: I am sorry... for what I've done. What else can I say to you?

She puts her hand to his temple and strokes it. With her next sentence she transforms to the likeness of Daniel.

Daniel: I don't wanna make you feel bad. I just want to show you who you are.


The Library

Giles sits in his office looking up at Buffy in the doorway.

Giles: You had a dream about Angel.

Buffy: I was in Angel's dream.

Giles: I'm not sure that's...

Buffy: Giles, there was stuff in this dream that I couldn't possibly know about. It was Angel's past, he was dreaming it, and somehow I got sucked in.

Giles continues looking up at her.

Buffy: There's something wrong with him.

He looks down and takes a deep breath.

Giles: I know. I've seen him. He wanted to know why he was back.

Buffy: Is there a way for us to find that out?

Giles: Uh, possibly. I-I've been looking.

Buffy: Well, let me look, too.

Giles looks back at her.

Buffy: I'm not seeing him anymore. I'm trying to put all this behind me, and I'm not gonna be able to as long as we're both doing guest spots in each other's dreams.

Giles leans back in his chair.

Buffy: So we'll help him?

Giles: Yes.

Xander: Where do we start?

Buffy and Giles look over in surprise.

Xander: Look, I'm aware I haven't been the mostest best friend to you when it comes to the whole Angel thing, and, um, I don't know, maybe I finally got the Chanukah spirit.

Giles stands up.

Giles: Well, we start, not surprisingly, with research. Xander, um, the Black Chronicles. And, uh, Buffy, the diary of Lucious Temple, an acolyte of Acathla, expert on demons. You can skip the passages on his garden unless you're keen on growing heartier beets.

Buffy and Xander head out into the main room.

Buffy: Are you sure this is how you wanna spend your Christmas vacation?

Xander: Yeah, this is actually the most exciting thing I've got planned. Who else can claim that pathetic a social life?

Willow: Hey, guys. What are we doing?

Giles returns to his office and closes the door. He sits down and opens a book. His mind begins to wander back to:



May, 1998.


Xander and Cordelia are sitting at the table. Giles looks at Buffy and Willow.

Giles: What are you saying?

Buffy holds out a stack of papers.

Buffy: The curse. This is it.

Willow: Looks like Ms. Calendar was trying to replicate the original curse. To restore Angel's soul again.

Giles: She said it couldn't be done.

Buffy: Well, she tried anyway. And it looks like it might have worked.

Xander: So he killed her... before she could tell anyone about it. What a prince, huh?

Cordelia: This is good, right? I mean, we can curse him again.

Giles: Um, well, this, um... certainly points the way, but... the ritual itself requires a greater knowledge of the black arts than I, I, I can claim.

Willow: Well, I've been going through her files and, and researching the black arts, for fun, or educational fun, and I may be able to work this.

Giles: W-Willow... channeling... such potent magicks through yourself, it could open a door that you may not be able to close.

Buffy: I don't want you putting yourself in any danger, Will.

Willow: And I don't want danger. Big 'no' to danger, but I may be the best person to do this.

Xander: Hi! For those of you who have just tuned in, everyone here is a crazy person. So this spell might restore Angel's humanity? Well, here's an interesting angle. Who cares?

Buffy: I care.

Xander: Is that right.

Giles: Let's not lose our perspective here, Xander.

Willow looks at Xander, in shock.

Xander: I'm Perspective Guy. Angel's a killer.

Willow: Xander...

Buffy: It's not that simple.

Xander: What? All is forgiven? I can't believe you people!

Cordelia: Xander has a point.

Xander: You know, just for once, I wish you'd support me, and I realize right now that you were, and I'm embarrassed, so I'm gonna get back to the point, which is that Angel needs to die.

Giles: Curing Angel seems to have been Jenny's last wish.

Xander: Yeah? Well, Jenny's dead.

Giles: Don't you ever speak of her in that tone again!

Xander: Can't you hear what I'm saying?

They begin to argue heatedly. Buffy rushes over and gets between them.

Buffy: Stop it! Stop it!

They all shut up and glare at each other for a moment. Buffy turns away and goes over to Willow, very upset. Giles paces away, also very upset.

Willow: What do you wanna do?

Buffy: I-I don't know. What happened to Angel wasn't his fault.

Xander: Yeah, but what happened to Ms. Calendar is.

Buffy and Willow glare at him

Xander: You can paint this any way you want. But the way I see it is that you wanna forget all about Ms. Calendar's murder so you can get your boyfriend back.

Buffy refuses to listen to any more of this, and walks out of the library. Willow and Giles just stare at Xander in surprise and shock. Xander walks back to his chair at the table. Giles looks at the library door before walking to his office. He closes his door and sits down staring at the printout before reaching for the phone and dialing.

Giles: Hello, this is Rupert Giles. I think I could use your help.




Hours have gone by while they research.

Willow: He's gonna come over on Christmas Eve 'cause my parents are out of town. We're gonna watch videos.

Buffy: That's good, right? You guys are back.

Willow: It's good. It's perfect. In an awkward, uncomfortable sort of way. I just don't know how to make Oz trust me.

Buffy: Xander has a piece of you that Oz just can't touch. I guess now it's just about showing Oz that he comes first.

Willow: I guess. Thanks. Hey, he likes beets.

Buffy: I read that one already. We're not getting any closer.

Angel continues to be plagued by the visions of his victims including Jenny

The Library

Xander is researching . Willow is asleep in a chair. Giles is in his office looking through books. Buffy has fallen asleep on the floor amongst the stacks, with several books lying on the floor around her. She rolls from her side onto her back.

Angel's mansion

He rolls over onto his back also


They are both sharing a dream. A dream of making sweet passionate love. In the dream Angel is on top of her when she opens her eyes and sees Angel's shoulder the eyeless priest from her previous dream, sightlessly observing them from where he's standing at her door. Suddenly Angel grabs Buffy's wrists hard, forcibly pinning her down to the bed. He rises over her and transforms into his vampire guise, and then bites her savagely on the neck.

The Library

Buffy wakes in startled shock.

The Mansion.

Angel wakes and sits bolt upright. Jenny is still sitting next to him.

Jenny: You want her?

Angel: No.

Jenny: Take her. Take what you want. Pour all that frustration and all that guilt into her, and you'll be free.

Angel: No.

Jenny: You can't live for eternity with all that pain. This is what you are. This is why we brought you back. Take her! And then you'll be kill her.

The Library.

Buffy walks out of the stacks and down the stairs.

Giles: Here, Buffy. Take a look.

He goes to the table with a pile of very old and worn sheets of paper.

Giles: These letters contain references to an ancient power known as The First.

Buffy: First what?

Giles: Evil. Absolute evil, older than man, than demons. It could have had the power to bring Angel back.

Buffy: These guys, I saw them in my dream. I fell asleep up there.

Giles: You had another dream? With Angel? What happened?

Buffy: Oh, we don't need to get sidetracked. Who are these guys?

Giles: Um, they're known as the, uh, as the Bringers or Harbingers. They're high priests of The First. They, uh, they can conjure spirit manifestations and set them on people, influence them, haunt them.

Buffy: These are the guys working the mojo on Angel?

Xander: We gotta stop them.

Giles: You can't fight The First, Buffy. It's not a physical being.

Buffy: Well, I can fight these priest guys.

Xander: If we can find them.

Buffy: Well I say we hit the streets and see what we can find out.

Xander: Want me to come?

Buffy: Giles?

Giles: Go, go. You both need a bit of a breather.

Buffy and Xander walk out. Giles glances at Willow sleeping and again lets his mind wander.


May 1998.

The Library.

Giles places books on the shelf when he hears the phone. He moves and quickly answers it.

Giles: Hello………..Yes, yes I understand. Are you sure? …………..No, I don’t doubt you………… Yes thank you very much…………You are faxing it now? ………..Okay thank you again…………….No I won’t call again………. I know we are. Peace with you.

He hangs up the phone and stares as the fax starts printing.

Summer’s House

Holiday music fills the air. Buffy and her mom great their only guest, Faith. Buffy heads upstairs to retrieve her gifts for under the newly decorated tree.


Buffy walks down the hall and into her room.

Buffy: Okay, Mom, don't touch yours, though, 'cause then you're gonna know what it is.

Once in her room she hears her door slam behind her. She spins around to find Angel there. He looks very tired and somewhat disoriented.

Buffy: Angel.

Angel: Huh... Buffy.

Buffy: What is it?

He looks around scared..

Angel: I gotta... I... look, I, uh, I had to see you, um...

He sees her bed and becomes more panicked..

Angel: I don't know, I... You shouldn't be...

Buffy: Just tell me what's going on.

His stares at her bare neck. Jenny appears to him behind her and begins taunting him.

Jenny: She wants you to touch her. What are you waiting for?

Angel: You have to stay away from me.

Buffy: You came to see me to tell me that I can't see you?

Angel struggles with controlling his panic.

Buffy: Angel, something is doing this to you.

He starts to move toward her. She backs away.

Buffy: You just have to control it, okay? I-I know that you're confused.

Angel: I think you're the one who's confused. I think you need to...

Jenny: She wants you to taste her. Think of the peace. You'll never have to see us again.

Angel struggles for control of his mind. He grabs his hair with his hands in desperation.

Buffy: Angel, how can I help you?

Angel: Leave me alone!

He runs dives out the window. Buffy stares after him before running downstairs.


Buffy: I just need you to stay with Mom in case he comes back.

She heads for the door.

Faith: Yeah, I'll play watchdog. I don't really get it, though.

Buffy: I'll explain later. Everything. I promise.

She opens the door and leaves.

Faith: Watch your back.

Giles' apartment.

Buffy: Giles, we have to do something. Soon. Now.

Giles: I'm still not sure what.

Buffy: Find me these priest guys. Find me something I can pummel.

Giles: Let's not lose our heads.

Buffy: Giles, he's slipping.

He does not respond.

Buffy: I think we're losing him.

Giles: Look... You realize if he... truly becomes a danger, you may have to kill him. Again. Can you do that?

Buffy looks at him with tears in her eyes.

Angel's mansion.

Jenny continues to plague him.

Angel: I can't do it.

Jenny: You have to do it. What else are you good for?

Angel: Get away from me! Jenny: Couldn't you just... feel her? (leans close to him) Couldn't you almost smell her skin? You never were a fighter, Angel, don't start trying now. Sooner or later you will drink her.

Angel: I'll never hurt her.

Jenny: You were born to hurt her. Have you learned nothing? As long as you are alive...

Angel: Then I'll die.

Jenny: You don't have the strength to kill yourself.

Angel: I don't need strength. I just need the sun to rise.

He walks back out into the atrium.

Jenny: You're not supposed to die. This isn't the plan.

She watches him walk through the atrium and take the steps up and out.

Jenny: But it'll do.


Giles' apartment.

Buffy reads aloud from a book. Behind her Giles sits on the stairs and reads to himself from another.

Buffy: 'A child shall be born of man and goat and have two heads, and The First shall speak only in riddles...' No wonder you like this stuff. It's like reading The Sun.

Giles: Yes. Ah.

Buffy: Priests?

Giles: Um... Yes, but, uh, more, more posturing, I'm afraid. Um, 'For they are the Harbingers of death. Nothing shall grow above or below them. No seed shall flower, neither in man nor...' They're rebels and they'll never ever be any good. Nothing specific about their haunts.

Buffy: Let me see that.

Giles hands her the book.

Buffy: '...the Harbingers of death. Nothing shall grow above or below...'

She is suddenly lost in thought.

Giles: What?

Buffy: I think I know.

She runs out of the door. Giles is left to stare out the open doorway. He again lets his mind wander.


May, 1998.

Giles is tied to the chair as Angelus continues to torture him. His body begs for relief but his mind is strong and he fights back against the pain. He loses his battle when he sees his Jenny and makes the fatal mistake. Angelus now knows. His mind latches on to the mere irony that Buffy’s love for Angel and now his love for Jenny may have combined to lead to the world’s destruction. He closes his eyes in frustration and allows himself to drift into oblivion.

He is aroused by the voice of Xander.

Xander: Giles!

Giles tries to block out the sound.

Xander: Giles!

Giles: Xander?

Xander: Can you walk?

Giles: You're not real.

Xander: Sure, I'm real.

Giles: It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want.

Xander has untied the ropes and goes around to look into Giles' face.

Xander: Then why would they make you see me?

Giles: You're right. Let's go.

He groans as Xander gets under his arm and helps him out of the chair.

Xander: Come on.

The make it out of the house and into the nearby trees.

Giles: I can’t.

Xander: You have to.

Giles digs in his pocket and hands him the keys.

Giles: Just get the car, its at the school.

They startle as the black car crashes through the garage door and flies down the road.

Xander: I can not just leave you here.

Giles: Its day. I will be okay. Just go.

Xander glances as his battered body and then the keys before taking off at a run. Giles watches him leave before moving back toward the house. He slips in unnoticed and heads to the room he saw the demon in. He can not leave his slayer to battle it alone. He knows that his error for love has led them here as much as hers did.

He slips forward and looks in the doorway and watches as Buffy battles the demon possessing her lover‘s face. Giles stills himself in order not to distract her. He watches as the sword leaves Angelus injured hand. Buffy raises her sword to dispatch Angelus, but stays herself when he suddenly gasps loudly and groans in pain. Giles watches with her as his eyes glow bright red for an instant and goes back dark. He looks up at her, but quickly collapses to the floor, crying. Buffy stares down at him, but still holds her sword raised behind her. Angel raises himself back up, his eyes heavy with tears, and looks into her eyes.

Giles watches the lovers but is to far away to hear their words. He knows the curse has been restored but his eyes are drawn to the growing vortex. He starts to move forward but is stayed by her movements. .Buffy moves from the embrace and steps back. Giles watches as she seems to aware of the danger of the vortex. He prepares to do what he knows she can not do. He sees Angel‘s lips move to form the words ‘I love You‘, the close his eyes. As Giles steps forward she again kisses him. Then he watches in amazement as she thrust the sword into her lover and steps back and watches him taken away from her. Giles sees her shoulders slump as he disappears. Giles turns and leaves.



Christmas tree lot.

Buffy breaks into the lot and grabs and axe. She begins pummeling the ground beneath the dead trees creating an opening to the cavern below. She climbs down and quickly destroys the priest

Jenny/The First: Hmm. I'm impressed.

Buffy looks at her angrily.

Buffy: You won't get Angel.

Jenny/The First: Hmm. You think you can fight me? I'm not a demon, little girl. I am something that you can't even conceive. The First Evil. Beyond sin, beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You'll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being, every thought, every drop of hate.

Buffy: Alright, I get it. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?

Jenny/The First: Angel will be dead by sunrise. Your Christmas... will be his wake.

Buffy: No.

Jenny/The First: You have no idea what you're dealing with.

Buffy: Lemme guess. Is it... evil?

The apparition of Jenny shrinks and is replaced for an instant by an image of a huge horned and clawed beast coming at her, roaring and with eyes glowing red. It fades as quickly as it appeared. Buffy stares in shock at the place where it appeared. It screams a final warning.


Buffy runs from the cave.

Angel's mansion

Buffy runs in.

Buffy: Angel!

She looks around, but he's nowhere to be seen. She walks toward the doorway to the atrium and looks out. She sees the steps leading up and runs toward them. Buffy runs up the hill behind the mansion. Buffy runs through the bushes, frantically looking for Angel. She climbs further up the hill and finds him standing at the top looking out over the peaceful town.

Buffy: Angel.

He looks over as she runs to him.

Angel: I bet half the kids down there are already awake. Lying in their beds, sneaking downstairs, waiting for day.

Buffy: Angel, please. I need for you to get inside. There's only a few minutes left.

Angel: I know. I can smell the sunrise long before it comes.

Buffy: I don't have time to explain this. You just have to trust me. That thing that was haunting you...

Angel: It wasn't haunting me. It was showing me.

Buffy: Showing you?

Angel: What I am.

Buffy: Were.

Angel: And ever shall be. I wanted to know why I was back. Now I do.

Buffy: You don't know. Some great evil takes credit for bringing you back and you buy it? You just give up?

Angel: I can't do it again, Buffy. I can't become a killer.

Buffy: Then fight it.

Angel: It's too hard.

Buffy: Angel, please, you have to get inside.

Angel: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.

Buffy: I know what it told you. What does it matter?

Angel: Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it'll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn't care.

Buffy watches as he begins crying.

Angel: Look, I'm weak. I've never been anything else. It's not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It's the man.

Buffy: You're weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it's because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster.

She looks out at the sky as it begins to lighten.

Buffy: Angel, please, the sun is coming up!

Angel: Just go.

Buffy: I won't!

Angel: What, do you think this is simple? You think there's an easy answer? You can never understand what I've done! Now go!

Buffy: You are not staying here. I won't let you!

Angel: I said leave!

He jerks his arm and she punches him. He shoves her to the ground.

Angel: Oh, my God...

He kneels before her and grabs her arm

Angel: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!

Buffy: What about me? I love you so much. And I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help.

She shoves him off of her and gets up.

Buffy: And I hate it! I hate that it's so hard and that you can hurt me so much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don't. I can't.

Angel gets up.

Angel: Buffy, please. Just this once let me be strong.

Buffy: Strong is fighting! It's hard, and it's painful, and it's every day. It's what we have to do. And we can do it together.

Angel stares at her.

Buffy: But if you're too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can't convince you that you belong in this world, then I don't know what can. But do not expect me to watch. And don't expect me to mourn for you, because...

Her tirade is stopped by flakes of snow. They look up to see the sky filling with the fluffy ice crystals. The former lovers stand in awe. They step closer their eyes transfixed on the dark sky. She looks into his face and he looks down into her eyes. He lifts his hand and gently sweeps away her tears. Neither one is able to speak. Buffy holds out her hand. He grips it his much larger one and they head down the hill. In absolute silence they walk toward the town. By the time they reach Main Street the snow is blanketing the everything. Buffy stops and looks up at him again. Tears fill his eyes as he smiles at her.

Buffy: Angel?

Angel: I..I

Buffy: I know. I guess someone wants you here other than just me.

Angel: I guess.

Buffy: We need to go see Giles. We need to tell him.

Angel: We do.

She lifts up on her toes and places a kiss on his cheek before heading to the apartment.



Giles' apartment.

He notices that his window has become frosted, and goes over to it to have a look outside. He stares out in amazement. He continues to stare at the frozen wonder until he sees the two approaching his doors. He takes in their intertwined fingers. He opens the door and looks into their flushed faces.

Buffy: Giles?

Giles looks over them and then steps aside and Buffy walks in. Angel pauses awkwardly.

Giles: You don’t need an invitation.

Angel: I am just not sure if I am welcome.

Giles: Come in.

Angel steps into the home and Giles closes the door. Buffy and Angel sit on the sofa and Giles takes the chair. He looks expectantly at Buffy.

Buffy: I got the priests.

Giles: I assumed you did.

Angel: I need to thank you for your help. I know you didn’t have to.

Giles: I didn’t, but you knew I would.

He notices Buffy shivering.

Giles: Can I get you something hot. Tea perhaps.

Buffy: Please.

He steps into the kitchen and places the kettle on the stove. He turns to look back into the living room. They just sit there quietly.

Giles: So do we know what they were trying to accomplish?

Buffy: Who? The priests?

Giles: Of course the priest. What was their goal?

Angel turns his head and looks at Giles nervously.

Angel: Buffy’s death.

Giles: They tried to convince you to harm her?

Angel: They wanted me to give in to my passion.

He looks down. Buffy stands up and walks over to the counter and sits on a stool.

Buffy: They hoped he would give in and lose his soul and then kill me.

Giles: But that would never happen.

Buffy: That is what they hoped. But Angel and I know the risk

Giles: That was the reason for the joint dreams?

Buffy: Yes.

Giles: And the snow?

Buffy looks over at Angel and he nods. She watches him as she speaks.

Buffy: That was someone’s way of stopping one very overwhelmed vampire from making a fatal mistake.

Giles: Buffy, I need a bit more clarity.

She twirls around in her seat and looks Giles in his eyes and speaks low.

Buffy: Not sure how but the snow blocked the sun and kept Angel from destroying himself.

Giles: Oh.

The kettle begins whistling and Giles turns to make the tea. Buffy goes back to the sofa and Giles brings the tray in and sets it on the table. He watches as Buffy fixes both herself and Angel a cup. The vampire clutches the warm cup in his hands absorbing the heat before taking a sip. Giles reaches for his cup and observes them thoughtfully. Buffy glances at Giles.

Buffy: I guess we need to figure out who started the snow.

Giles: No I don’t think we need to. We can assume it was the forces of good.

Angel glances up at him then back into his cup. They all sit silent. The only noise is the occasional sounds of drinking or the tinkling of the dishes. Buffy suddenly set her cup down.

Buffy: I need to call my mom.

Giles: My yes. You can use the phone in my room if you want.

She smiles and heads up the stairs. Giles waits until she is gone and turns to Angel.

Giles: What are you going to do?

Angel: I don’t know. I don’t even understand why I am still here. Why they stopped me.

Giles: Maybe because they need you.

Angel: For what?

Giles: I am not sure.

They sit there quietly until Angel looks at him.

Angel: I am going to leave.

Giles: You going to the mansion?

Angel: No, I mean leave Sunnydale. I can’t stay here. I can’t risk it.

Giles: Buffy stopped the priests. The visions are over.

Angel: But not the desire. If I stay, things may get out of hand and I won’t let that happen…… Again.

Giles: Oh. Where will you go? When?

Angel: I don’t know but soon. Maybe tonight.

Giles looks down in his cup in thought. Buffy bounds down the stairs.

Giles: Spoke with your mother?

Buffy: I did and she says to tell you merry Christmas.

Giles: Tell her thank you and the same.

Buffy: I will.

She looks at the men curiously.

Buffy: So what’s the glum.

Angel: I need to tell you something.

Giles: Angel, I think that can wait. I need to tell you both something first.

Angel: I need to do this.

Giles: Please wait until you heard me out.

He nods toward the sofa and Buffy sits back down. Giles stands up and begins pacing slightly.

Buffy: Giles, you are scaring me.

Giles: I don’t mean to. I just don’t know how to say this or even if I should.

He takes his glasses off and begins polishing them.

Buffy: Just spit it out.

Giles: I did something last year before I was kidnapped.

Angel: And tortured.

His face a mask of pain.

Giles: Yes tortured.

Buffy: That was not Angel. Giles, you know that, right?

Giles: I try to. But it is not all together easy.

Angel: I am sorry. I know that is not enough.

Giles: No, but it is something..

Buffy: Are you going to tell us what you did?

Giles looks at them. First at Buffy and then at Angel.

Giles: When you brought me the printout from Jenny’s computer, I faxed it to a Mage who owed me a favor.

Buffy: A favor?

Giles: I introduced him to his wife.

Buffy: Oh. But why?

She looks on expectantly.

Giles: To see if he could alter it. To make it permanent.

Buffy: To take out the happy clause?

Giles: Yes.

He looks at Angel. Angel stays silently listening.

Buffy: And did he?

Giles: Yes. The curse Willow cast was not the same. It is suppose to be permanent.

Angel finally speaks.

Angel: You trust this Mage?

Giles: I do.

Buffy and Angel sit back in quiet reflection.

Buffy: Why did you not tell us before?

Giles: There was no need to burden you when he was gone and when he first came back I….

Buffy: You wanted us apart.

Giles: I did.

Buffy: And now?

Giles: I don’t know, but I don’t think you should be making decisions without all the facts.

Buffy: Decisions?

Angel: My decisions. I just told Giles I am leaving Sunnydale.

Buffy: But you can’t.

Buffy looks at Angel then up at Giles.

Giles: I think it would be a mistake. They saved you today because you are needed. And I think you are needed here.

Angel: I don’t know.

Buffy: I do. Angel, I want you to stay. I need you to stay..

She turns his face toward hers and looks into his brown eyes.

Buffy: I love you.

Angel swallows.

Angel: I love you too.

Buffy: Then stay.

Angel looks back at Giles and he nods. He looks back at Buffy then closes his eyes in thought.

Angel: I’ll stay.

Buffy: Thank you. Now we need to get to my house. Mom and Faith are waiting for us.

Angel: Us.

Buffy: Yes, us.

She stands up and slips on her coat. He shakes Giles hand and smiles before escorting her out the door. Outside she takes his hand in hers and they walk way. Giles stares out the window hoping he made the right decision.

They walk in silence down the street hand in hand. Buffy glancing up at him occasionally. She suddenly stops and pushes him into an alley. Her hands wind into his hair and pulled his lips to hers. He feels the warmth of her lips and lets himself get lost in the feelings. He is relaxed around her for the first time since her last birthday. His arms wrap around her and pull her closer. Her mouth opens and his tongue accepts the silent invitation. They stand in the alley releasing all their love and frustration into to the one endless kiss. As he feels their desires mounting, he pulls back. She pants as she looks into his eyes.

Buffy: We………

Angel: Let’s go see your mom first

Buffy: And later?

Angel: We finish getting reacquainted.

He takes her hand and leads her from the alley. They walk on to her house and mount the snow covered steps. She stops at the top and he brushes his lips against hers before following her into the house. As they walk into the living room Joyce and Faith stand up from the couch. Joyce pulls Buffy into her arms. She releases her and looks up into Angel’s face.

Joyce: Merry Christmas, Angel.

He smiles.

Angel: Merry Christmas..

Joyce: I guess we should all sit down.

Buffy and Angel remove their coats and he sits on the sofa, while she drapes the fabric over the banister.

Faith: So you stopped the guys doing the wicked mojo?

Buffy: I did.

She looks at Angel happily. He smiles into her laughing eyes. Joyce glances at her daughter and Angel. Her heart aches for child. She wants her to be happy but she knows this relationship has too many risks. She closes her eyes and tries to push down her fears.

Buffy: Mom, you okay?

She opens her eyes and smiles.

Joyce: What say we do presents now.



The last remnants of paper are picked up and they look around the room.

Joyce: I better check on the food. Angel, do you well….

Angel: Eat? Sometimes.

Joyce: Then do you want to stay and have dinner?

Angel: I would like that.

Buffy smiles at her mom before Joyce walks into the kitchen. Buffy leans her head on Angel’s shoulder. He wraps his arm around her a brushes a kiss on her forehead. Faith looks on.

Faith: So I am thinking the big bad boo kinda backfired.

Buffy: What?

Faith: You two.

Buffy looks into Angel’s face and her own feelings mirrored in his brown eyes. He quickly looks down at the blue silk shirt in the box in his lap.

Angel: I think I want to try this on.

He slips his arm away and stands up heading for the bathroom.

Faith laughs as soon as he leaves.

Buffy: What is funny?

Faith: Him. He is about ready to explode. He wants you so bad he is like a time bomb.

Buffy: You are wrong. He is just not comfortable around everyone.

Faith: I am not everyone. The guy is horny, B. How much you want to bet he comes out with the shirt untucked.

Buffy: Huh?

Faith: To hide his arousal.

Buffy: I am so not liking this conversation.

Faith: God I don’t know how you do it. A honey like that and no umph.

Buffy: Faith, I don’t want to discuss my sex life okay.

Faith: You have a sex life?

Buffy blushes.

Faith: Oh god, you do. But how? When?

Buffy: We haven’t………yet.

Faith: But you are?

Buffy nods.

Faith: Again how?

Buffy: Giles told us this morning, that he had the curse altered.

Faith: Then girl what are you doing here?

Buffy: Spending Christmas Day with my family and friends.

Faith: And later?

Buffy blushes again and nods.

Faith: No wonder he is fighting a hard-on since you got here.

Buffy: He is not.

Faith: You’ll see.

Buffy gets up and begins straightening the room. She glances up as Angel walks in. She looks over his tall structure. The blue silk hangs revealing just the hint of the muscles underneath. She drinks him in and smiles.

Buffy: I knew it would fit.

Angel: Perfect.

She steps forward and he wraps his arm around her waist and leans into her.

Angel (whisper): Thank you and you get your present later.

He gently kisses her lips.

Buffy: Present? What?

Angel: Later.

There is a knock at the door. Angel releases her and she rushes to open the door.

Xander: Merry Christmas.

Buffy: Merry Christmas Xander, Oz. Happy Hanukah Willow.

Willow: Merry Christmas.

They step into the living room and look at Angel gazing at the tree. He glances over at them.

Willow: Hi Angel.

Angel: Hello.

Xander (whisper): Is he okay?

Buffy: Yes. He is fine. Thanks for help.

Joyce walks in.

Joyce: If I can get help setting the table. We can eat soon.

Xander: If it leads to food tell me what you need.



Xander, Faith, and Oz stand in the front yard looking at the snow covered town. Buffy and Willow stand on the porch.

Willow: This was nice.

Buffy: It was. I am glad everyone was here.

Willow: Especially Angel?

Buffy: Yes.

Willow: Buffy, I know what you said about the snow but I think there is something else you are not telling me.

Buffy: There is.

Willow: You going to tell me?

Buffy: Well since Faith knows I guess I better.

Willow: You told Faith before me?

Buffy: Sorry, she was here.

Willow: Well spill before the guys get anxious.

Buffy: Giles told us this morning that he altered the curse you did to remove the happy clause.

Willow: What? How?

Buffy: He had a friend. A Mage.

Willow: Wow? I have heard of them. Wow?

Buffy: I know.

Willow: So are you?

Buffy nods. Willow looks at her blushing face.

Willow: We better go so you can well uh…

Buffy: See you tomorrow.

Willow: You bet you will. Call me when you wake up.

She hurries down the steps, glancing over her shoulder once as she joins the others. They head down the street.

Faith: So she told you about the curse.

Willow: Uh huh.

Xander: What?


In the house.

Buffy walks in and sits on the sofa next to Angel. He pulls her into his arms. She fiddles with the hem of his shirt.

Buffy: You didn’t tuck your shirt in.

Angel: I know.

Buffy: Any reason.

Angel: I think Faith told you why.

Buffy: You heard her?

Angel: I hear almost everything.

Buffy: So are you?

Angel: Not now but if you keep moving your hand like that things could change.

She glances down at her hand teasing the hem and her knuckles brushing the fabric of his slacks. She jerks her hand away. He catches the hand and kisses her palm.

Buffy: It is almost dark.

Angel: You ready to leave.

Buffy: Just let me talk to mom and we can go.

She steps into the kitchen.

Buffy: We are heading out.

Joyce: Okay

She hands her a paper bag.

Buffy: What’s this?

Joyce: Little food for later. I assume he doesn’t keep much in his fridge.

Buffy stands staring at her.

Buffy: What are you talking about?

Joyce: Buffy, I am your mother and I see things.

Buffy eyes get big.

Joyce: And I hear things too.

Buffy’s face registers recognition.

Buffy: You heard me talking to Faith.

Joyce nods.

Buffy: And you are not demanding I stay home?

Joyce: Buffy, if I did that tonight, what would happen tomorrow night?

Buffy: I would go see him.

Joyce: I know I can’t stop this. Also you will be eighteen next month.

Buffy stands there staring at her.

Joyce: Buffy I had all last summer wondering where you were and what your were doing. I need to know. Even if that means knowing you are………..

Buffy: I love him.

Joyce: I know you do. Now go before I become less level headed and order you to your room.

Buffy hugs her and heads for the door.

Joyce: We will talk in the morning……..when you get home.

Buffy and Angel both look at her for a moment. Buffy slips on her coat Angel holds out for her. They step out the door.

Angel: You okay?

Buffy: My mom knows, but I guess you heard.

Angel: I did. Does it bother you?

Buffy: No. I am glad she knows. I am so tired of the secrets.

He leans into her lips briefly before walking on to the mansion.


Buffy watches as Angel lights the fire.

Buffy: I didn’t realize how cold it had gotten.

Angel: Maybe I should take you home.

Buffy: Don’t you dare even think it.

He smiles and steps out of the room. He returns with his arms filled with the comforter and pillows from his bed.

Angel: We might better stay in here.

Buffy: I don’t mind.

She spreads the blanket out in front of the fire and places the pillows. She looks up to see him hand her another blanket and more pillows. She arranges them while he slips out of his coat and boots. She tosses her coat on the sofa. He kneels down in front of her on the floor and removes her boots. She shimmies under the covers and beckons him over. He stirs up the fire once more and climbs under the blanket. Buffy snuggles into his arms.

His lips place feathery kisses on her forehead, nose and cheeks before laying claim to her lips. His tongue teases at hers. His hand holding her face as his mouth plunders hers.

Her hands roam over his back. She shivers nervously. He pulls back and looks into her eyes.

Angel: You still cold.

Buffy: No, just kinda scared.

Angel: Oh. We can slow down.

Buffy: No god no. We have waited too long. I just, well…..

Angel: I know we only had the one night before.

She bites her bottom lip and nods.

Angel: What would make you more comfortable?

She sits up slowly and he follows. She reaches over and slowly unbuttons his shirt and slides it down his arms. Her hands run over his chest exploring every curve as if trying to memorize him. He sits calmly letting her set the pace. She looks into his eyes and smiles. He reaches out and strokes her cheek with his thumb. She reaches up and takes his hand and guides it to her buttons on her shirt. He leans in and brushes his lips over hers softly as he begins to unfasten her blouse. She drops her hands from his chest as he pulls it down her arms. His lips travel from her lips to her neck and onto her shoulder. Her fingers entangle in his hair. His hands encircle her waist. As she leans into him his fingers trail up her spine. She shivers under the touch and clutches him tighter. He pauses a mere moment before flicking open the hooks of her bra.

As her bra slides off he pulls back and looks into her eyes before wandering down to her perfect peaks. Their rosy centers hard and calling to him. He smiles and leans into her taking one tip into his mouth. Her gasp rolls into a moan. Her fingers move back into his hair. He slowly lowers her back onto the pillows as his mouth travels from one breast to the other. Her nails dig into his scalp as low moans float from her lips.

He glances into her face and quickly moves back to her lips. As they kiss her hands glide down his cool back and stroke back up his sides. He wiggles under the feathery touch.

Buffy: Ticklish?

Angel: No.

Buffy: Yes.

She runs her fingers down his sides. He wriggles and grabs her hands pulling them away and throws his leg over her hips and kneels on his knees straddling her. He grapples to hold her wrist as she playfully tugs them free. She suddenly stops moving. He looks down at her and notices her eyes are looking at his very noticeable erection. She quickly diverts her eyes to the side blushing.

Angel: Buffy?

Buffy: I am sorry

She looks into his face and he releases her wrists.

Angel: Does it scare you?

Buffy: No.

She hesitantly reaches her fingers out and runs it over the bulge. He stays still not knowing what she expects. She looks into his eyes and reaches for his hands and guides them to her fly. He slowly unbutton and unzips them. His fingers brush her soft flesh as he slide the stiff fabric down her legs. He kneels at her feet looking at her golden body clad only in the lacy panties. He slowly removes his slacks and lays on his side beside her propping himself on his elbow.

Angel: I love you.

Buffy: I love you two.

She looks into his eyes and smiles. He runs his fingers across her hip and slowly under the fabric until he slips into her damp curls. She opens her thighs slightly and his finger quickly make contact with her clit. She moans loudly as he stroke the sensitive tissue. He captures her mouth with his. Her fingers slither over his chest and across his back until they land at the waistband of his silk boxers. As he feels her warm fingers slide under the fabric and caress his cheeks, he moves back to her breast.

She skirms on the floor as his mouth pays homage to her painfully erect nipples and his fingers probe her wet flesh. She craves his flesh. She wants to feel him, taste him, smell him. His mouth leaves her chest and travels across her abdomen. His tongue draws a languid circle around her belly button. Her hands slide up his back as he moves lower. His fingers grip the lace and slide it down her firm thighs. He tosses it away as he presses her knees open. She looks down at him as he buries his face between her legs. His tongue following the paths earlier drawn by his fingers. She bucks under him as he draws her clit between his lips, His finger slipping into her warm recess. She grabs at the only part she can reach, his head. She encourages him closer. He increases his ministrations.

Buffy: Oh My God! Aaangel.

He feels her muscles quiver around his digit fondling her inner folds. She lies panting with her eyes closed. He slips out of his underwear and moves back up her body. She opens her eyes and looks into his chocolate orbs. She feels the smooth silk of skin as he rubs the head of his cock against her wet flesh. She opens her legs wider in invitation. He looks into her eyes as he slips slowly in. She looks into his eyes seeing the love and lust reflected there. She attempts to stay relaxed as he penetrates her. As he becomes completely sheathed in her hot flesh he releases a low moan and smiles into her face.

Taking a moment to allow her to adjust to the feel, he leans in and kisses her softly. She instinctively shifts her hips drawing him in deeper. He slowly withdrawals partway and back in. Hearing her breathing increase, he begins to slowly pump into her. Her breath comes in small pants as her hands explore over his back and arms. Her pelvis begins meeting each thrust. He reaches his hand dawn and draws her leg around his hip. She brings her other one up and encircle is waist. He increases his pace as he flours her shoulder, neck, and face with wet kisses. She wraps her hand around his neck and brings his mouth to hers. Her tongue demands entry and is not denied. As their lips and tongue tango, there hips beat their own erotic rhythm. He feels his climax mounting and reaches between them attacking her clit, bringing her with him.

As she ricochets over the edge of pleasure, she screams his name and he tumbles after her spilling deep into her. They both lay quaking from the intensity of their orgasms. He rests on his shaky elbows and looks into her flush face. She gazes back with glassy eyes.

Buffy: Angel.

Angel: Yes.

Buffy: I never could stop loving you.

Angel: I know. Nor I you.

He leans in and softly kisses her. He starts to move his softening member from her body.

Buffy: Don’t.

He pauses and looks at her.

Buffy: Please. I like the feeling of you………inside.

He grips her bottom and hold himself inside as he rolls them onto his back. Her body blankets his. She rest her head on his chest as he lifts the blanket and covers them. They lay there each in their own thought. Buffy lies there looking at his muscular chest and his pink nipple standing out amongst his pale flesh. Her hand reaches out and her thumb brushes over the rosy disk. She smiles as it hardens under her touch. He kisses the top of head. She sighs and the small puff of air skirts across his nipple stimulating the stiff flesh. She closes her eyes as she feels a tightening in her groin. She tilts her head and looks into his face. He smiles mischievously.

Buffy: If I am dreaming, don’t wake me.

Angel: I wouldn’t dare.

He shifts his hips burying his hard shaft completely into her. She lifts up and straddles his torso. His eyes roll back at the feel of her impaled on his cock. She runs her hands over his chest and shifts her legs causing multiple frictions of flesh. He moans and reaches out for her hips. His fingers grip each side and lift her and bring her back down. She throws her head back at the internal caress. He lifts her again but she takes over. She places her hands on his chest and begins riding him hard and deep. Her moans mingle with his as they plow along the path of bliss. She revels in the pleasure to her flesh and the new power over his. He moves his hands from her hips to her breast. His fingers tease and pinch at the hard buds. She keens his name as she careens through her orgasm. Her inner muscles flex and milk his organ driving him to quick climax. She collapses on his chest as she feels the fluids run down her thighs. She slides off his chest and curls up next to his side. Her legs and arms feeling like jello. He pulls her close and kisses her forehead.

Buffy: I love you.

Angel: I love you, baby.

He looks down at her damp brow and panting mouth.

Angel: Sleep?

Buffy: For now.

He pulls the cover over them and they fall into a sated slumber.